I'd Walk A Thousand Miles
by theweirdworder
Summary: Basically Hem and Maerad's continued journey/their thoughts about their separation before the Singing with a bunch of stuff happening. I use A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton.One-shot. Please read AND review emphasis on review. I need them I own nothing


_Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound  
_Hem thought of Maerad, more now, ever since the dream. She was like a force he couldn't get out of his head. Maybe his consistent thoughts now was to make up all for all the times he didn't think enough of her. He missed her now more than ever. He had changed so much since she had last him and there was so much to talk about- the Treesong and his part in it the quest for it, what had happened since they were gone...

And then more hurt. Zelika. That thought made his heart burn like a house hit by lightning or flesh captured in the grips of dogsoldier fire. Though Hem did not know for sure if Maerad was alive, he could hope. That was the case for his sister but as for the girl he loved- all hopes were completely shattered. She was dead. Zelika. Was. Dead. It was the fact he could barely face, the fact he had avoided the possibility of for weeks, the fact he was now forced to accept. The fact he couldn't face...

He pushed her aside. He had to. She lay back in the Sjug'hakar Im, an abandoned body lying at the now-abandoned camp where she had been killed. Along with that lay all the shouldn't'-ofs and ifs that otherwise might of let her live. Or at least they should of been.

He had to think of Maerad now, of getting to her and the reconciliation of the Treesong and vanquishing the Dark. Maerad at least was his chance, his hope, his possibility of returning.

Oh how he missed her, too..._  
Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd _

Maerad had the same dream. The two-story, yellow-stoned house with its white gravel path that she somehow knew was home. Then entering it to find Hem eating an apple. Oh Hem...

She had missed him with such force, such need, so fiercely. She had longed to see his face, say his name, hold him. How was it that she could miss a person so fiercely when she's seen then for such brief of a time. It felt like a lifetime, though.

She had so much to tell him. So much had happened to her. She wondered about him, too. She wondered what he looked right like right now, if he still had his voracious appetite( she decided he still did, and decided if anything changed about it, it only got bigger), if he was safe, what had happened to him. She had wondered about everything.

She had really changed since she had last seen him. Had he changed, too? She couldn't see Hem any differently than when she had last seen him but she supposed he had to of changed from when she had last seen him. He had faced the downfall of a great city. That in itself had to be life-changing. But there was more she could tell. Was that going to change their relationship? She couldn't see that either.

She had thought for a moment of all the people she had encountered on her journey, friends, that she had missed, too(though not as much). Her mind briefly lingered on Nim and Silvia. She wouldn't let herself think of the Winterking-it was too painful.

Oh but how she had missed Hem above them all. Hem... _  
And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....  
_For a moment they both lay in their own longing, doing nothing almost but feeling it. The feeling was like a dam ready to burst and break. There was no way to express it for them. It was just inside them, consuming them. Neither of them thought they could last much longer without the other. Maerad was having so many musings about Hem, so many daydreams, that the longing for Hem grew stronger. But they had no choice. At least they were going to see one another soon. _  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time_

_would pass me by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you _

_Tonight _

''Thinking of Hem again?'' Cadvan asked. Cadvan could just tell by the expression on her face. It was the face she always saved for her brother.

Maerad just nodded, immersed in her own thoughts. Suddenly a horrible thought crosses her head. The possibility of Hem being dead was possible... Maerad thought of that thought before but it came back overwhelmingly. She couldn't think that thought, though. So she quickly banished it. _  
It's always times like these  
When I think of you  
And I wonder  
If you ever  
Think of me  
_''Thinking of Maerad again?'' Saliman asked.

He didn't have to ask.

Hem simply nodded. If he did anything else he would think, and every time he thought he thought things he didn't want to think.

_'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in your precious memories _

''I'm sure he's safe, Maerad,'' Cadvan told Maerad.

She sure hoped so. She couldn't manage otherwise. He was her other half, the only way she could function as a whole. But she said, nothing for if she did she would die.

''And we'll find him and Saliman, don't you worry,'' Cadvan added.

Of course I'll worry, Maerad thought, Cadvan knows that. Her voice would break and she would shatter.

Cadvan took her in his embrace and kissed her forehead. If the Winterking had his way, she would still be thinking he was dead. And she was so glad she had him, at least. But she wanted to kiss and hug Hem at the moment.

''Things will be okay, Maerad,'' he said, ''we'll find them and right the world and things will be okay.''

_'Cause I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder.... _

The same was being said to Hem, who was trying so hard, and failing, not to listen to those words.

''We'll find her, Hem,'' Saliman said.

He couldn't bear it if they didn't.

_If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by?  
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight _

That night both Hem and Maerad dreamed of each other. They dreamed of the same house. They ran through the house, finally finding each other. They ran to each other but a barrier blocked them. No matter what they did they could not break it. They beat their fists on their side of the wall, pounding at it in frustration, tears running down their faces. Suddenly Ardina and Nyanar appeared, Ardina on Maerad's side and Nyanar on Hem's.

''In due time,'' they each said, whispering, ''you will be with each other in due time.''

''Defeat the Darkness, first.'' A group of voices seemed to be saying that. Each of the children looked up. Familiar faces shone over them, separated by a misty veil. ''Zelika!'' Hem screamed at first. ''Dharin!'' Maerad shrieked at the same time. ''Mother?'' she asked secondly. The forms were blurry so each sibling could barely make out their loved one's face.

Maerad recognized Dharin and her mother, and knew that the form next to her mother must be her father. She also saw another form and she initially recognized it. Dernhil? She said his name aloud. She knew the Pilanel family was the one that Hem stayed with before she found him, the one killed by Hulls. She didn't recognize the girl Hem said the name of, or the blonde figure.

Hem knew that the man and woman was his parents. He didn't know the big Pilanel that Maerad said or the man whose name she said was Dernhil, or the blonde. He recognized the Pilanel family and Zelika.

_And I, I  
Don't want to let you know  
I, I  
Drown in your memory  
I, I  
Don't want to let this go  
I, I  
Don't...._

''I loved you, Zelika,'' Hem said. Something like a smile played on the blurry figure. ''I know, I heard you too,'' she said, ''and I loved you, too. Defeat the Darkness, Hem, with your sister. I'm sorry I can't be there to help.'' A tear fell down his cheek. He wished she could be, too.

''I'm sorry for putting you in such danger,'' he said to the family. ''It's okay,'' somebody from there said. ''We forgive you,'' another said, ''it wasn't your fault. Vanquish those creatures.''

On the other side of the barrier, at the same time, Dharin spoke to Maerad. ''Cousin, you were worth dying for,'' he said, ''meeting you for even that short of a time was worth it.'' Maerad nodded, not knowing what to say. ''I'm sorry for being the reason of your death,'' she said, tears in her eyes. ''You weren't,'' he said, ''I decided to go, didn't I?'' Maerad didn't couldn't say anything.

''I'm sorry, too, Dernhil,'' she said, '' I caused your death. If you never met me, it would of never happened.'' ''Oh Maerad,'' he said, ''this isn't your fault. I could of betrayed you instead but I couldn't do that. And never meet you? I couldn't imagine that. I still love you, even up here, even if you don't or didn't feel the same.''

''Even after what I did to you? I'm so sorry about that and I would undo that if I could. I never should of done it,'' she said,'' it was horrible beyond words.''

''That wasn't your fault,'' he said, '' it was your instinctual reaction considering from where you came from. I should of been more careful then.''

''I'm still really sorry,'' Maerad said.

She turned around and looked up. So did Hem. ''We love you both,'' a voice, Milana's said, ''remember who you are. I'm sorry for your pasts and I wish I could of been with you longer, Maerad. You both are so strong!''

''You and my Cadvan can surely complete your quest,'' the blonde figure said.

''Defeat the Darkness,'' they chorused, before the veil vanished.

Maerad and Hem looked at each other from where they were standing. The fact that they needed to complete this quest was in both their expressions. ''I love you, Hem,'' she said. He somehow heard her. ''I love you, too, Maerad,'' Hem said, ''we'll see each other soon, though. As Nyanar said in due time.'' Maerad nodded.

The image of each other faded out as they both woke up.

_Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces passed  
And I'm home bound _

It was about noon. Maerad and Cadvan were passing through a town she forgot the name of. This should of been a relief after months of wilderness but since it was greatly affected by the White Sickness was not. The orphanage was huge and stood above all, an exclamation point of all the pain the town had endured, and the consequences of it. It reminded Maerad of Hem, which was odd especially after the dream she just had.

A emaciated boy in nothing but ragged pants came up to them, a pleading expression on his face as he extended his palms. He looked uncannily like Hem, Maerad noticed. Was this a coincidence or some sort of sign?

''Can you spare something, miss?'' he asked her.

Though she knew there were more children like him that she couldn't all serve, she had to do something for him. ''Cadvan?'' she asked. He nodded, realizing the resemblance and pulled out both a loaf and a coin silently.

''Thank you, mister,'' he said gratefully.

As Cadvan and Maerad walked away, Maerad looked back at the boy. He put the coin into a filthy wallet and was eating the loaf hungrily.

_Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making my way  
Through the crowd _

Saliman and Hem were also traveling. They hit a town, though not one stricken with the White Sickness. It seemed like a normal visit at first, just a visit to any other town.

While they were traveling, Hem saw a girl at the corner of his eye. She was running barefoot on cut feet, hard and fast. Panic flashed in her blue eyes. She had Maerad's eyes, Hem realized. Those _were _Maerad's eyes. Her hair flew in the wind, black, wavy hair. It was tangled and dirty but it still was the same hair.

''Maerad!'' Hem called out, not being able to contain this realization any longer. The girl looked at him strangely but kept running shortly afterward. Saliman went up to her, and caught her by the arm. ''I'm not Maerad,'' she said, almost pleading, ''my name is Mynad.'' Her voice was exhausted, out of breath and on the verge of tears.

''How old are you?'' Saliman asked.

''Sixteen, '' she answered, her voice shakier than before.

It was then Hem noticed how horrible she looked. Only a shift covered her body, which looked like she hadn't eaten a meal for days and even then it was only a meager one. She didn't look like she had slept for a long time, the bags of exhaustion shadowing her eyes like especially ugly bruises. She was bruised on just about every inch of her body, too or cut in some way, a lot of those cuts whiplashes. Scars were also a common finding. Where a bruise didn't cover dirt did, dirt even covering a lot of bruises. Her black hair was matted with sweat, dirt and knots. Hem wondered where she came from to produce such a horrible state.

''Don't take me back there,'' she begged, starting to cry. Her first tears brought the only two dirt-free spots on her face. She started to sob. Saliman's arm around her loosened and she took advantage of that opportunity and ran.

_  
And I still need you  
And I still miss you  
And now I wonder.... _

At the same moment, Maerad looked away from the look-alike Hem and walked on.

''We can't give so generously to all the orphans here, Maerad,'' Cadvan said.

''I know,'' she said, ''but I couldn't help but want to give to that one.''

She hoped that little boy ended up okay. She hoped Hem ended up okay, too, and was okay. And then a strange peace filled her. She knew he was okay. She knew he would end up okay. She would miss him but she could tolerate it. She would see him in due time, like the Ardina said. About two days later, Hem and Saliman were approached by two men, the youngest around 27 and the oldest around 35. They were rough-looking with their crudely-cut sandy hair and clothes, stocky, muscled build and dirty bodies. Their eyes were an icy green, a sign they were brothers.

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass us by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you...

''You seen a gal, 'round sixteen, black ha'r , blue-eyed, thin form, a wee witch-like?'' the oldest asked.

''Pretty like, too,'' the youngest added with a sick smile, ''aggressive along with that, a true fighter. We still nee' to tame her. I didna' get to test her when she lef' and I'm sure it'll be a while until I do.''

Hem felt himself get nauseous at the manner of words the man spoke with.

''We got her on Bellam, here's whim. She lef' a couple days back, right afta' we bought her. She our slave, you see,'' the older one said, '' we pay good money for her, outrageous if ya ask me.''

''Oh Ellan, get to tha' point, and stop usin' this moment to scold me,'' Bellam said, ''have ya seen ha'?''

Hem opened his mouth to say something but Saliman put his hand on his shoulder.

''No, we haven't,'' Saliman said.

''Well keep ya' eye open fa' ha','' Ellan said, then taking Bellam and asking more people.

''This is known slave territory,'' Saliman explained when he saw the two men out of earshot, ''and there isn't any rules on the treatment of them. I have a feeling that they kept parts out of their story.'' His face twisted with disgust at the last part.

''I hope they don't find her,'' Hem said.

''So do I.''

Hem hoped she ended up okay and free like Maerad. He hoped Maerad was okay too but realized that he knew she was. She was and would end up okay and with Hem. Like Nyanyar said in the dream. He would miss her but he would see her again, in due time. _  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
If I could  
Just hold you  
Tonight _


End file.
